"So Far Away"~Staind

Life has changed....I know that it is ever-changing, but for me its been almost a huge dramatic change.  These last few years I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible.  What I once dreamed of has come true.  I look at today in new light and I'm so grateful for it.  

One of my favorite authors posted on Facebook "What is one thing that you take for granted?  We try our hardest not to do this, but we all are guilty of it."

I had to think about this long and hard.  Ever since I went into remission, I promised myself not to take anything for granted anymore because it could all be gone again in an instant.  Every morning I wake up and go to work.  Most people dread Mondays, but I no longer do.  Even on my stressful days at work, I accept it with open arms, because for over a year I couldn't work.  I couldn't support my family financially in any way.  Honestly, our family struggled and it was very difficult at some points, scary even.  Now I can wake up and go to work.  I am now working full days four days a week and a half day on Saturdays.  And I love it.  I'm happy at my job.  I'm where I'm supposed to be.  Every day I get to get in my car and drive.  I drive to and from work for myself & my husband.  I spend time jamming out to music again, even if my kids can't stand my singing, and on a good day they join me.  I come home to a husband who loves me more & more everyday.  Our marriage is strong, our faith in each other even stronger, and the love is immeasurable.  Every night I get to walk up a flight of stairs to tuck my kids in their beds.  I get to bend over and hug them both.  I get to hold them and only let them go when I'm  ready to.  I love my showers I get to take without any help from anyone.  I'm back to doing what I love to do for and with my family.  Traffic sucks, but getting to Busch Gardens to ride rides with my kids is amazing.  Making plans for my Girl Scouts is hard, but to see their faces when we get to hang out is so much fun.  I'm dancing again.  I'm moving again.

I try to find joy in even the smallest of tasks because I wasn't able to do any of this for a very long time.  I'm grateful for being able to get up everyday.  Literally get up and move.  To take for granted anything that I have been blessed with is unacceptable.  

My family gave me strength and courage and continue to do so.  I've made it so much farther than I ever thought possible.  They kept their faith and hope that one day I would be back to the Sara they always knew, however I'm never going to be her again.  Yes, I'm back to being outgoing, funny, loving, caring, but I'm never going to be the girl who kept going through life day by day any longer.  I'm never going to take what I have been given for granted again.  I'm tougher, stronger than I ever was before.  I try to smile more.  I try to take the time to be happy with my life. 

I was given a crazy journey to go through life, but I'm so happy I went through it.  It made me a better person.  I have more strength in my faith, my happiness and most of all in myself.  I had to face this journey for a reason, and I feel that I'm going to continue on the right path of this journey.  

"This is my life, It's not what was before, All these feelings I've shared,  These are my dreams, But I've never lived before, somebody shake me cause I, I must be sleeping, And now that we're here so far away, All the struggle we fought wasn't in vain, And all the mistakes that one life can take, they all finally start to go away, and now that we're here so far away and I feel like I can face the day, And I can't believe that I'm not ashamed of the person that I am today, These are my words, I've never said before, I think I'm doing okay..."