HOLY COW!!! Tons to catch up on! I'm going on three full months 100% symptom free! No rocking, shifting, motion in my own ocean. No headaches, ear pressure, ear pain. No dizzy, falling, fainting. NOTHING!!! It has been an amazing feeling that I pray all my fellow MdDSers feel one day very soon.
I made a deal with myself that as long as I felt good, I wouldn't live in fear that it would come back. In the last three months, I have walked numerous miles, driven even more. I've extended my work hours to the point were I'm just one day shy of working a full work week. I've gone swimming in a pool. I've gone to the movies. And the ultimate....riding Apollo's Chariot at Busch Gardens!!! I was an avid roller coaster rider before all this happened and I'm pleased to say I came off that ride, balance still in check!
It has been an amazing journey with so much more to come! The family and I are going on our annual cottage trip in two weeks, so I plan to get out in the water and even go boogie boarding again. I cannot wait. This time last year the water made me so nervous. I was able to get in for just a few minutes with my baby brother holding me tightly so I wouldn't lose it. This year I'm going all in.
I've always known that life is too short. Changes happen too quickly and to experience life every day is a gift. This experience has proven that. I wouldn't not change these last two years for anything. Yes, having this horrible disorder was no picnic in the park. It was stressful, discouraging, debilitating, but it was also a learning experience that I will never forget.
I have come out on top, stronger than ever. My marriage is stronger, the love for my kids has grown exponentially, my friendships even more powerful, and my family even more cherished. Even more so, my faith has grown to new levels. The power of prayer and persistence in knowing that God has pulled me out of that dark world. I always knew I was in His hands, but I know it even more. All the little things that I took for granted that He gave me, are even more so cherished.
I look back and realize that with these last two years, although stuck at home from working or doing much of anything, gave me time that I never had before. I was able to spend time with my daughter before she started her first year of school. I was able to bond with my niece as I watched her at my home, helping and teaching her to grow into a beautiful little girl. I was able to be home and help take care of my grandfather after he recovered from heart surgery. I was able to become a leader to my daughter's Girl Scout troop and bonded with 20 other little girls and many more bigger girls who have all taken a place in my heart. I've tapped into writing again, and love going back to read all of what I have accomplished.
I don't complain about having to go back upstairs because I forgot some, because now it is no longer a struggle. I'm not crawling up them anymore, well, unless I'm playing around with my kids. I love to go shopping and don't mind running into a grocery store, because there is no fear for lights, tiles, people.
For those still struggling with this disorder, the advice that I can pass along is to stay strong. Have faith that someday it may leave you. And if it doesn't cherish the little accomplishments that you do everyday. You got out of bed today and moved to the couch. You could brush your teeth without having to grip the counter. You were able to wash 4 plates, 2 bowls and 5 cups. You read one article of a newspaper. You pushed yourself to tuck your kids into bed tonight. You were able to sit and put your shoes on and walk to the end of the block, so what if you looked drunk while you did it. Its those little things that help you stay positive and sane. And the biggest thing that helped me....laughter. I laughed at myself multiple times and didn't get offended that people laughed at me.
I'll continue to write, but as time keeps slipping by me, it won't be as often as the beginning (as you can tell).
Much Love, Sara
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