"This Is War"~30 Seconds to Mars

MdDS medications are no fun.  I've decided.  Its just not worth it at this point.  I've tried a hand full of my own, and hated every minute of taking them.  When you take them, you may get some relief of the symptoms, but once the side effects just aren't worth it.  
Every day there are tons of posts in the support groups about the meds we are given.  The side effects to most of them are so crazy that if I haven't already tried it, then I'm going to. There are meds that I've heard of through these groups, that when I approached my doctor about them, he said he wouldn't even try it because he knows that it would be bad for me.  It doesn't help me that my system does accept meds well anyway, but it gets pretty bad with certain drugs.  
So, this is where we are stuck.  You rock, sway, shift.  Almost the feeling of being drunk.  You feel sick, and some days, the nausea is worse than any morning sickness I've ever had with either of my two pregnancies.  You can't concentrate.  Its like having ADD or Alzheimers, you forget things very easily.  When you walk, its like one minute your leg is there, the next its gone.   You can't walk straight, unless, for me I've learned to concentrate really hard and can master this if all I think about is walking.  You are exhausted, but you battle insomnia, which of course makes the symptoms worse.  And lets not even get into ear pressure or headaches, they will literally blow your mind.  
The problem with most of the medications is that it takes away one or some of the symptoms, but makes the other symptoms worse or brings on new ones.  So what do you do?  Pick the one that is the worst?  For me the insomnia is killer, the nausea, the headaches.  I can't take sleep aids, they make me groggy in the morning, so I stumble more.   TI take Meclizine for the nausea, but it doesn't touch the really bad days, only Phenergan does and it knocks me out, which again, groggy when I wake.  I've also tried natural remedies thinking, no side effects, so I've tried stuff like different ways to eat, drink, smash ginger, etc.  Same with the headaches.  
What's a girl/guy to do?
Well for me, I only take my meds when I absolutely have to, for instance, bad nausea days I will make sure I take my Meclizine the day of and a couple days after.  For the insomnia, even if I'm not sleeping, I'm resting.  I take it easy.  I try not to push too hard if it is at all possible.  It doesn't replace sleep, but it helps a little.   I drink lots of water.  This seems to help keep my head clear and I don't feel like I'm dragging.  
I did do vestibular rehab for a little bit.  Even though it didn't take symptoms away, it helped me learn how to walk somewhat normal, it strengthened my relflexes for when I would start to fall.  A lot of the exercises did not work for me, but they did help a little bit, and at this point I'll take a little bit any day.
My point to all this?  This is how frustrating MdDS can be.  You not only have to deal with the symptoms of it all, but the meds as well, the exercises.  You are a perpetual guinea pig for doctors and researchers because this all is so unknown.  But if being a guinea pig, is what must be done to come up with answers, than by all means, bring it on!  One day, I hope that something breaks a door down and we can treat this properly, without adding more issues to the already existing ones.  Some one had to be a guinea pig for cancer to figure out that chemo works.  Someone had to test out pain meds to find out that the pain goes away.  Someone had to try out birth control to see if it actually worked (glad I wasn't part of that group, but thank you ladies for what you did...haha).  I was part of a research group that tried Imitrex on minors with migraines because at the time there wasn't a med available for children who suffered...there is now.  
I'll do what needs to be done to try and get rid of MdDS for good.  I'll keep working on my exercises.  If doc wants to try something new, I will try it.  If it doesn't work, I'll stop.  I try not to get my hopes up anymore when he does suggest something, but that's hard sometimes.  I'm at least fortunate that I have a doctor in my area that knows what MdDS is, and that says a lot for me.
Its a battle that we will continue to fight.  A war again MdDS.  The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?