I'm sorry it has taken me awhile to write, however, I broke my laptop :-( On one of my bad days I set it on the floor next to my bed. Later blankets fell on top of it and I forgot it was there on the floor, so I accidentally stepped on it and cracked the screen. I'm working on getting a new one, so for now I'm using my TV as my computer monitor :-)
So the holiday season is officially upon our household! Thanksgiving went pretty well. It definitely wore me out to the point of utter exhaustion Friday. I used to be a Black Friday shopper, however I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the crowds this year. It was definitely a bummer, but I new that I would figure something out for getting my holiday shopping done (tips below). I spent my Friday in bed, and Saturday was spent running errands, and then putting up our Christmas tree.
Our Christmas tree was given to us by my in-laws. Thank goodness we have cathedral ceilings because it wouldn't fit in a normal sized room. I'm typically not scared to stand on chairs or ladders to decorate the top of the tree, but this year was really tough. I couldn't look up for long periods of time and I couldn't stay on the chair either so it took my kids and I longer to decorate than usual. Luckily I have an awning that my daughter was able to reach over to put on the angel (it was her first time). I then used a dining room chair that had arms around it so I felt a little more secure than being on a step ladder.
Our tree is up, and Christmas music has started and I am feeling like I'm definitely in the holiday spirit.
I came up with some tips for shopping for the next month. These can be helpful for any type of shopping whether its in a grocery store or out for buying presents. My husband and I went to Bass Pro Shop on Saturday and the place was crowded. Not as much as Black Friday, but it was still pretty packed. This gave me the idea to do this list to help out, so here goes:
1. Shop with a friend, family, partner, etc. Have another adult with you if you are going into a store that you know will be full of people. Best Buy, Walmart, Target, etc. Big name places are having huge deals this season and tend to fill up on the weekends, which leads me to my second tip...
2. Try to shop during the week in the early morning. Most people have left for work and stores tend to be a little more empty during these times.
3. Now I know there are a lot of people who can't go during the week, but check your stores hours. Most stores have extended their times for the season. Check to see when they open on the weekends. Early shopping hours on Saturday & Sunday are better times.
4. Shop with your local Mom & Pop stores. Small business could use your help this season. They are usually less crowded as well. Help your local farmers by buying their produce instead of fighting the grocery stores. Go to your local farmers market to buy your holiday decorations, candles, soaps, etc. Craft bazaars at schools and churches are in full swing as well! You never know what you will find, and besides its outside! Plenty of room to roam around on our rocky world without having to worry about bumping into things.
5. Shop online! I know, I love to go out and find stuff while I'm out too, but this year was different. I couldn't go out to the big deals so I stayed in my pjs and rocked out on the computer. I had to take a lot of breaks because I was basically window shopping on each site, but it worked. This goes for those Mom & Pop places as well! A lot of companies are offering free shipping over a certain amount, discounts on big ticket items, and there are a ton of buy one, get ones this year. Be sure to start this now though to give yourself ample amount of time to get your items.
6. Check out companies like Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, Thirty-One, Tasteful Treasures, etc. Although the main company is large the sellers are your local friends and family! They are earning money on all of their sales this season, so help them out buy buying from their individual site.
In other awesome news, I was mentioned in the December issue of the MdDS Foundation newsletter which you can read here.
Thanks to all of you for encouraging me to continue to write, even when I'm not feeling my best. It was nice to be recognized in the newsletter, but most importantly, this blog is reaching more people everyday who are dealing with this syndrome or who have family or friends who are dealing with it. It is getting the word out to doctors, therapists, loved ones, which is the goal. Thanks again for all of the support!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
"What a Wonderful World"~Louis Armstrong
I know there are two more days until Thanksgiving, but I've compiled my list of thanks this year. Each day the month of November I had something I was thankful for, and I already know what my #21 & #22 will be so I'll go ahead and add them to this list. Now, just because I stated it in the month of November doesn't mean that it starts or stops there. I just pointed it out for Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for every day for the life that I have. I am thankful for being alive everyday. I am thankful for having a wonderful God in my life, and having such a wonderful and personal relationship with Him. I am thankful for love, and surprising to some I am thankful for heartache and pain, because from those I grow to who I am. I am thankful for the sun and the moon, the mountains & beaches, the calm & the storms. I am thankful for what I've been given in life.
My list starts here:
Day 1: I'm thankful for my best friend, partner, teammate, husband Josh Ensley. For 8 1/2 years he's been at my side through good & bad times. Through everything, our love has grown stronger each and every day.
My list starts here:
Day 1: I'm thankful for my best friend, partner, teammate, husband Josh Ensley. For 8 1/2 years he's been at my side through good & bad times. Through everything, our love has grown stronger each and every day.
Day
2: I'm thankful go my baby brother who was born on this day. A little
boy who I still remember sneaking in his room when he was a baby to calm
him to a man who I love more than this world. I always knew i wanted a
baby brother and im so glad that i got that wish. Happy birthday
Jacessa! Big sissy loves you! .
Day 3: I am thankful for good friends and good fun.
Day
4: I'm thankful for two wonderful, strong, beautiful women in my life
who know me better than anyone. We've definitely had our lows but we've
had amazing highs that make us forget the lows. Or my biggest support
team for the last 29 years, my best friends, my momma and little sister.
Day 5: I am thankful for my two beautiful kids. Growing up all I ever wanted to be was a momma and I am lucky enough to have been blessed with two. They are two awesome kiddos!
Day 5: I am thankful for my two beautiful kids. Growing up all I ever wanted to be was a momma and I am lucky enough to have been blessed with two. They are two awesome kiddos!
Day 6: I am thankful for my freedoms. My
right to vote and have a voice. I am thankful for the men & women
who fight for our freedoms and the right to continue to live the way
that I do. I am allowed to be who I want to be and there is no one to
tell me that I CAN'T do something, because I CAN!
Day 7: I am thankful for docs who can see patients on the same day because here I am with Seth with asthma.
Day 8: I am thankful for our teachers. Everyday they are overworked and underpaid. They strive to push the best out of our children. In addition, there are a select few that go above and beyond and make an impression that will last a lifetime. I know I have my few.
Day 8: I am thankful for our teachers. Everyday they are overworked and underpaid. They strive to push the best out of our children. In addition, there are a select few that go above and beyond and make an impression that will last a lifetime. I know I have my few.
Day 9: I'm thankful for my aunts, uncles, and
cousins. I'm thankful to also be an aunt and cousin. My family means
the world to me and I'm fortunate to be very close to the majority of my
family and excite to become close to the rest.
Day 10: I'm thankful for grandparents. I'm
lucky enough to have 3 living grandparents and my kids are lucky to have
all 4 of theirs in their lives. I miss my grams dearly and wish she was
here to enjoy the babies but I know she I looking down watching over
us. We have a rule that the grandparents are allowed to spoil the babies
all they want without say from the parents and I love the smiles my
kids have from all the love they receive.
Day 11: I am so thankful for those who have
served and who currently serve in our military. Growing in Norfolk, you
have a very unique appreciation for all of those men and women. You get
to work with retirees, meet the moms and dad who take care of their
families while the spouses are away, and literally hear the sounds of
our freedom while jets fly over. Although I not technically a military
brat, I am proud to say that my dad was a navy man, and numerous dads
that I adopted along the way were too! I have cousins, uncles, and
friends who have all served...so thank you! Anchors Away! Semfer Fi!
Hoorah!
Day 12: Today I am thankful for my extended
family. Those that I have adopted as part of my family. Sometimes
water does run thicker than blood for me.
Day 13: I'm thankful for my comfy bed and
dvr. Days like today when symptoms are at their worst and back I killing
me, I'm loving just snuggling up with my Lilybug and taking it easy
Day 14: I'm thankful for my coupon master, Anna Middlebrook,
for teaching me the ways of the coupon. HAHA! Because of her I have a
great selection of food for my family without killing our budget. Thank
you oh coupon masta!
Day 15: I am thankful my ability to cook good
meals for my family. From the ability to be able to afford groceries,
to the electricity I use to cook those meals, to the time I get to spend
with my kids teaching them how to cook, along with the time I spent
with my family learning how to cook. I love being in the kitchen, and
even though I have to wait for my body to allow me to stand long enough,
those good days are my favorite days.
Day 16: I'm thankful for a brother and sister in law who gets us awesome tickets to hockey games. Love me some Admirals!
Day 17: I am thankful for dancing. I've
started being able to dance again in little spurts on my good days. I
love that my mom paid for my rhythm and grace with 15 years of dance
lessons. Music pulls at my heart and moves my feet. I'm always one of
the firsts on the dance floor.
Day 18: I'm thankful for my state of
Virginia. We have all four seasons. Enough snow in the winter, cool
breezes in the spring, warm beach summers, and gorgeous travels with
beautiful fall trees. It's gorgeous here and I wouldn't want to live
anywhere else. Virginia is for lovers and I love VA.
Day 19: I'm thankful for my MdDS meds. Days like today they are much needed.
Day 20: I am thankful for my support team. My
friends and family who have dropped everything to help me when I needed
it most, whether it is to go grocery shopping, run errands, pick up my
kids, help me clean, or even listen to me vent on the phone. This year
had been very frustrating but the support that I have receive is just
amazing.
Day 21: I am thankful for my mom-in-law & and father-in-law. I am grateful that I have such a great relationship with them. I've always been able to enjoy their company. I love knowing that they have accepted me for who I am.
Day 22: I am thankful for life. I am thankful that I was given life, and that I brought in this world the gift of life to my children. I am thankful that I am given a new day to learn and grow and become the person I want to be.
Being thankful is something that should be done everyday. We should be grateful for what we have, not what we don't. We need to take a moment to be grateful that we are here in this world, that we are given the opportunities that life has to offer. Even those who have nothing have thankfulness. So take a moment and find what you are thankful for. Pass on that feeling to those around you.
Monday, November 19, 2012
"Endtapes"~The Joy Formidable
I received a message from a woman named Holly, who asked if I would check out a page and answer some questions. Its about learning more about someone and their chronic illness...so here goes:
1. The illness I live with is: Mal de Debarquement Syndrome (MdDS)
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2012
3. But I had symptoms since: 2012
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I'm no longer completely independent on myself
5. Most people assume: Since I look & sound okay, that I'm okay
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Realizing that nothing has changed and I'm still suffering.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Medical Mystery, The Doctors, and Dr. Oz
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My cell phone. Its my life link if something were to happen while I'm home alone with my daughter.
9. The hardest part about nights are: Trying to fall asleep. I have insomnia some nights from the motion.
10. Each day I take _0-4 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: I continue to look for new treatments. I've tried a few different things, but they have made no change or made me feel worse.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: visible.
13. Regarding working and career: non-existent. I haven't been able to work since May. I continue to train myself to be able to get back to work.
14. People would be surprised to know: I have anxiety standing around people, even those I know, even my own family.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: I can't do everything that I want to do.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Travel again
17. The commercials about my illness: I haven't seen any.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Driving
19. It was really hard to have to give up: My job
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Writing this blog :-)
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: DRIVE!
22. My illness has taught me: Take each day one minute at time.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Are you sure you can't work?
24. But I love it when people: Have an open mind and ask questions without judgement.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: I don't have a quote or motto, but music usually puts me in a better mood. It relaxes me.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: You are not alone and its not all in your head.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: Changing and adjusting how I do things around my house and with my family.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: My mom and little brother drove across town, bought dinner and brought it to my kids since I couldn't cook.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I actually just found out about it, but I promote awareness as much as I can to this syndrome.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Like people are becoming more understanding in what I am dealing with on a day to day basis.
Doing this list made me think a lot about my MdDS, and the thing with filling this out tells you how this affects me. MdDS affects people different ways. It is diagnosed each time by doing different studies and crossing off other diagnoses first. I have learned that people have different symptoms that range on a scale from 0-9. Some people go into a "forever remission," some have a short period of remission, and unfortunately there are those who never do. Certain actions can exacerbate symptoms for some people while for others it makes their symptoms go away. That is the reality of the syndrome. So we need to continue to talk with one another, we need to be open and honest with our doctors and push our doctors to research this syndrome. We need to stand for our own healthcare and not take no for an answer. Invisible illnesses can be very frustrating, but we need to stay positive. We need to support one another and continue to reach out to those who are willing to help us. My goal is to get our information out to the public. It will take time, but we will be recognized and information will get out to those who continue to suffer without a diagnosis.
Questionnaire from: Our 30 Things Meme
1. The illness I live with is: Mal de Debarquement Syndrome (MdDS)
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2012
3. But I had symptoms since: 2012
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I'm no longer completely independent on myself
5. Most people assume: Since I look & sound okay, that I'm okay
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Realizing that nothing has changed and I'm still suffering.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Medical Mystery, The Doctors, and Dr. Oz
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My cell phone. Its my life link if something were to happen while I'm home alone with my daughter.
9. The hardest part about nights are: Trying to fall asleep. I have insomnia some nights from the motion.
10. Each day I take _0-4 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: I continue to look for new treatments. I've tried a few different things, but they have made no change or made me feel worse.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: visible.
13. Regarding working and career: non-existent. I haven't been able to work since May. I continue to train myself to be able to get back to work.
14. People would be surprised to know: I have anxiety standing around people, even those I know, even my own family.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: I can't do everything that I want to do.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Travel again
17. The commercials about my illness: I haven't seen any.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Driving
19. It was really hard to have to give up: My job
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Writing this blog :-)
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: DRIVE!
22. My illness has taught me: Take each day one minute at time.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Are you sure you can't work?
24. But I love it when people: Have an open mind and ask questions without judgement.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: I don't have a quote or motto, but music usually puts me in a better mood. It relaxes me.
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: You are not alone and its not all in your head.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: Changing and adjusting how I do things around my house and with my family.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: My mom and little brother drove across town, bought dinner and brought it to my kids since I couldn't cook.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I actually just found out about it, but I promote awareness as much as I can to this syndrome.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Like people are becoming more understanding in what I am dealing with on a day to day basis.
Doing this list made me think a lot about my MdDS, and the thing with filling this out tells you how this affects me. MdDS affects people different ways. It is diagnosed each time by doing different studies and crossing off other diagnoses first. I have learned that people have different symptoms that range on a scale from 0-9. Some people go into a "forever remission," some have a short period of remission, and unfortunately there are those who never do. Certain actions can exacerbate symptoms for some people while for others it makes their symptoms go away. That is the reality of the syndrome. So we need to continue to talk with one another, we need to be open and honest with our doctors and push our doctors to research this syndrome. We need to stand for our own healthcare and not take no for an answer. Invisible illnesses can be very frustrating, but we need to stay positive. We need to support one another and continue to reach out to those who are willing to help us. My goal is to get our information out to the public. It will take time, but we will be recognized and information will get out to those who continue to suffer without a diagnosis.
Questionnaire from: Our 30 Things Meme
Thursday, November 15, 2012
"Arms"~Christina Perri
I know I haven't written in awhile and that's because I kicked my own butt.
Last Thursday I had a great day. I felt amazing. I was only at a 1, so what did I do? EVERYTHING! I decided to work on a project of getting my room organized, which turned into also organizing the garage, fixing a toilet, and cleaning my room along with doing about 5 loads of laundry. I was an idiot.
I woke Friday hurting. I messed up my back at some point and could barely move. The tension in my neck caused a headache, which then brought on symptoms.
Seth also had been sick the beginning of last week and was out of school, not returning until Friday. We ended up having to change all of his asthma medicine and start every 4 hour breathing treatments. Lets just say I'm worn out.
Saturday I was able to get out with my Mom and my son. We had a good day, but I was exhausted by the time we were done. We didn't mean to be out all day, but that tends to happen when my momma and I get out together.
Lily went to her first Girl Scout camping trip. She had such a great time and can't wait to go back again. Hubby went hunting with my little brother. This left Seth with me and momma, so of course he was loving the attention (just not all the shopping!) He was spoiled of course, but that is allowed when the grandparents are around.
Sunday was set for just family time. The kids and I hadn't seen Josh all week, so we made it a point to spend the day just the four of us. The kids met their good behavior goals, so they were treated for the day. Lily ended up with a new bear, and Seth decided on a new video game.
This week I've been taking it really easy. I haven't done much of anything but whats absolutely necessary (aka dishes, cooking meals, grocery shopping). I've laid around the rest of the time, taking care of my back, my symptoms, and me period.
Today I got a little bit of mental medicine by going and seeing old friends at NSA. I love my old co-workers. I haven't worked there since the end of January, and haven't seen them since I was first diagnosed with MdDS. I walk in and talking with them just feels like home. I guess it has to do with working there for over 5 years. My kids grew up in that office. Heck. I grew up in that office. I was nice seeing old faces and just catching up, even if it was for only an hour. I walked out of there feeling better than I did walking in, even though I was already feeling good this morning.
Last Thursday I had a great day. I felt amazing. I was only at a 1, so what did I do? EVERYTHING! I decided to work on a project of getting my room organized, which turned into also organizing the garage, fixing a toilet, and cleaning my room along with doing about 5 loads of laundry. I was an idiot.
I woke Friday hurting. I messed up my back at some point and could barely move. The tension in my neck caused a headache, which then brought on symptoms.
Seth also had been sick the beginning of last week and was out of school, not returning until Friday. We ended up having to change all of his asthma medicine and start every 4 hour breathing treatments. Lets just say I'm worn out.
Saturday I was able to get out with my Mom and my son. We had a good day, but I was exhausted by the time we were done. We didn't mean to be out all day, but that tends to happen when my momma and I get out together.
Lily went to her first Girl Scout camping trip. She had such a great time and can't wait to go back again. Hubby went hunting with my little brother. This left Seth with me and momma, so of course he was loving the attention (just not all the shopping!) He was spoiled of course, but that is allowed when the grandparents are around.
Sunday was set for just family time. The kids and I hadn't seen Josh all week, so we made it a point to spend the day just the four of us. The kids met their good behavior goals, so they were treated for the day. Lily ended up with a new bear, and Seth decided on a new video game.
This week I've been taking it really easy. I haven't done much of anything but whats absolutely necessary (aka dishes, cooking meals, grocery shopping). I've laid around the rest of the time, taking care of my back, my symptoms, and me period.
Today I got a little bit of mental medicine by going and seeing old friends at NSA. I love my old co-workers. I haven't worked there since the end of January, and haven't seen them since I was first diagnosed with MdDS. I walk in and talking with them just feels like home. I guess it has to do with working there for over 5 years. My kids grew up in that office. Heck. I grew up in that office. I was nice seeing old faces and just catching up, even if it was for only an hour. I walked out of there feeling better than I did walking in, even though I was already feeling good this morning.
"You put your arms around me and I'm home."~Christina Perri
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
"Blown Away"~Carrie Underwood
Saturday I traveled to my farthest location so far since being diagnosed with MdDS. I traveled from Norfolk to Richmond and then from Richmond to Alexandria, and then I returned all in the same day. The travel to Richmond wasn't bad, but by the time I got to Alexandria I did feel a little off. The break of the bridal shower did help, but by the time I got to Richmond I was definitely over traveling and I really started to dread my final trip to Norfolk. I ended up falling asleep on the last leg of the trip.
I was hoping that I would be okay to travel so that I could at least make a trip to see my Grandparents in South Carolina, that trip is 7 hours one way. Josh pointed out that if I felt okay the next day that maybe I could make the trip. It wasn't until the afternoon that I started to feel my "normal." It becomes frustrating when you can't do what you want to do, and I know that those going through this feel the same way.
I haven't been able to accomplish anything that I wanted to this week. Every day is going by in a blur...it just seems like I can't keep up with anything. I feel like I'm overwhelmed and trying to do way too much, but I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!!! Its so frustrating. I've been an emotional wreck this week, and I don't know why. I've cried more the last few days for no reason....hell even the commercials are having me tear up! I know I'm a redhead, and I've always been the emotional one in my family, but this is getting to be a little ridiculous.
To top off my week, Seth was not doing very well last night and I had to pull out the nebulizer and give him his first breathing treatment of the year. He asked if he could stay home because his "throat felt fuzzy and bubbly and like he had two mouths" and "I squeak when I cough." So he stayed home, I pumped him with albuterol, and then ended up heading to the doc where they changed all of his meds around. Now, for those who don't know my son is a talker like his momma. Albuterol makes you feel jittery and shaking and you become a little more hyper than usual. They also gave me Orapred which is a steroid to help with inflammation of the lungs and airways. Now mix the talkative son with the two meds and you get what is well known in my family as diarrhea mouth and it goes a little something like this:
My mom: "Welcome to diarrhea of the mouth."
Seth: "Welcome to Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I like chickens. Bock-bock. HAHAHA. Chickens are funny. Bock-bock." (P.S. This sentence did not stop there...oh no!...It continued for 3 straight minutes that it took for us to get from the light outside my sister's neighborhood to her house.)
I'm not looking forward to the next 5 days of this, because not only will my child not stop talking, but you are supposed to have your child stay calm and relaxed, but when they are hyped up there is no controlling your child. Ugh.
Fingers crossed and lots of prayers. This is going to be one hell of a week apparently!
I was hoping that I would be okay to travel so that I could at least make a trip to see my Grandparents in South Carolina, that trip is 7 hours one way. Josh pointed out that if I felt okay the next day that maybe I could make the trip. It wasn't until the afternoon that I started to feel my "normal." It becomes frustrating when you can't do what you want to do, and I know that those going through this feel the same way.
I haven't been able to accomplish anything that I wanted to this week. Every day is going by in a blur...it just seems like I can't keep up with anything. I feel like I'm overwhelmed and trying to do way too much, but I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!!! Its so frustrating. I've been an emotional wreck this week, and I don't know why. I've cried more the last few days for no reason....hell even the commercials are having me tear up! I know I'm a redhead, and I've always been the emotional one in my family, but this is getting to be a little ridiculous.
To top off my week, Seth was not doing very well last night and I had to pull out the nebulizer and give him his first breathing treatment of the year. He asked if he could stay home because his "throat felt fuzzy and bubbly and like he had two mouths" and "I squeak when I cough." So he stayed home, I pumped him with albuterol, and then ended up heading to the doc where they changed all of his meds around. Now, for those who don't know my son is a talker like his momma. Albuterol makes you feel jittery and shaking and you become a little more hyper than usual. They also gave me Orapred which is a steroid to help with inflammation of the lungs and airways. Now mix the talkative son with the two meds and you get what is well known in my family as diarrhea mouth and it goes a little something like this:
My mom: "Welcome to diarrhea of the mouth."
Seth: "Welcome to Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I like chickens. Bock-bock. HAHAHA. Chickens are funny. Bock-bock." (P.S. This sentence did not stop there...oh no!...It continued for 3 straight minutes that it took for us to get from the light outside my sister's neighborhood to her house.)
I'm not looking forward to the next 5 days of this, because not only will my child not stop talking, but you are supposed to have your child stay calm and relaxed, but when they are hyped up there is no controlling your child. Ugh.
Fingers crossed and lots of prayers. This is going to be one hell of a week apparently!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
"Carry On"~fun.
Yesterday was my first day of feeling normal again after Hurricane Sandy. We were fortunate enough not to have any flooding issues with the house. We had one decent size limb fall but nothing that we can't handle, and we also never lost power. I know there are a ton of people who have lost everything, and my thoughts and prayers are with those people.
I spent four days straight in bed starting on Saturday with the storm started to come in and cause massive pressure changes. It was most severe on Sunday night into Monday night. I can handle my normal symptoms of dizziness, but throw a severe pressure headache on top of that and I couldn't get up without feeling like I was a ball in a pinball machine. It took a ton of energy just to get to the bathroom. By Tuesday night I started to feel more human and by the time I woke up yesterday morning I felt back to my "normal" state.
I was able to work on stuff around the house and get things picked up. I pushed through to go trick-or-treating with my kiddos. By the time we got home last night, I was flat out exhausted. I fell asleep pretty quickly, yet I woke up at 2 this morning and didn't fall back asleep until 5 this morning. I still woke at my normal time to help the kids get ready, and I am still good on energy...go figure?
While being stuck in bed for those four days, I had thought about how things have changed so much in just a few months since I came down with this crap (because that's just what it is). I told my buddy that I would never forget his wedding anniversary that was for sure! But also I'm now a stay at home mom, something that I never thought would happen, at least not this soon.
I struggle every day to make each day a better day than yesterday. I have great friends who I can't just up and go see because I'm terrified to travel. I need to go see my grandparents in South Carolina...I miss them, a lot, but I'm not sure how I would handle an 8 hour drive. I'm heading to Richmond to try that out this weekend. I want to see how I do, but I'm nervous about it all. My big sister in my sorority is getting married in March and I wish I could get to her more to help with planning, but its no easy task to just jump in a car and go (especially since I can't drive).
Josh has now become our sole income and he literally works 15-16 hour days. He leaves the house at 7:30 every morning and I usually don't see him until around 10 at night. We made a rule when Seth was born that bed time for him would be 8 so that we could have a couple hours to ourselves as a couple each night. Those couple of hours (8-11) are basically non-existent some nights because I'm exhausted and my symptoms are their worst at night.
I miss my independence. I miss being able to jump in a car and just go where I need to go. I miss my co-workers and working to help bring in an income. I miss being able to work around the house and not get tired so easily. I want to go outside and run with my kids. Through all this though, I keep moving forward. I have been able to stay off my meds on days where I'm at a 4 or lower. I only take my meds if my symptoms get above a 5 and I will only take my valium if I'm at a 9 or if my anxiety gets up too high. I'm proud of myself that I can stand and do the dishes, or sit and fold laundry. I've also been able to start picking up my Nook and read as well. (I can't read normal books yet, but with my Nook I adjusted the settings so its easier to read is short spurts.) I'm progressing and I know that, I just want to get better at some of the harder tasks like driving and running. I'll get there soon. I will Carry On....
I spent four days straight in bed starting on Saturday with the storm started to come in and cause massive pressure changes. It was most severe on Sunday night into Monday night. I can handle my normal symptoms of dizziness, but throw a severe pressure headache on top of that and I couldn't get up without feeling like I was a ball in a pinball machine. It took a ton of energy just to get to the bathroom. By Tuesday night I started to feel more human and by the time I woke up yesterday morning I felt back to my "normal" state.
I was able to work on stuff around the house and get things picked up. I pushed through to go trick-or-treating with my kiddos. By the time we got home last night, I was flat out exhausted. I fell asleep pretty quickly, yet I woke up at 2 this morning and didn't fall back asleep until 5 this morning. I still woke at my normal time to help the kids get ready, and I am still good on energy...go figure?
While being stuck in bed for those four days, I had thought about how things have changed so much in just a few months since I came down with this crap (because that's just what it is). I told my buddy that I would never forget his wedding anniversary that was for sure! But also I'm now a stay at home mom, something that I never thought would happen, at least not this soon.
I struggle every day to make each day a better day than yesterday. I have great friends who I can't just up and go see because I'm terrified to travel. I need to go see my grandparents in South Carolina...I miss them, a lot, but I'm not sure how I would handle an 8 hour drive. I'm heading to Richmond to try that out this weekend. I want to see how I do, but I'm nervous about it all. My big sister in my sorority is getting married in March and I wish I could get to her more to help with planning, but its no easy task to just jump in a car and go (especially since I can't drive).
Josh has now become our sole income and he literally works 15-16 hour days. He leaves the house at 7:30 every morning and I usually don't see him until around 10 at night. We made a rule when Seth was born that bed time for him would be 8 so that we could have a couple hours to ourselves as a couple each night. Those couple of hours (8-11) are basically non-existent some nights because I'm exhausted and my symptoms are their worst at night.
I miss my independence. I miss being able to jump in a car and just go where I need to go. I miss my co-workers and working to help bring in an income. I miss being able to work around the house and not get tired so easily. I want to go outside and run with my kids. Through all this though, I keep moving forward. I have been able to stay off my meds on days where I'm at a 4 or lower. I only take my meds if my symptoms get above a 5 and I will only take my valium if I'm at a 9 or if my anxiety gets up too high. I'm proud of myself that I can stand and do the dishes, or sit and fold laundry. I've also been able to start picking up my Nook and read as well. (I can't read normal books yet, but with my Nook I adjusted the settings so its easier to read is short spurts.) I'm progressing and I know that, I just want to get better at some of the harder tasks like driving and running. I'll get there soon. I will Carry On....
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