Yesterday was my first day of feeling normal again after Hurricane Sandy. We were fortunate enough not to have any flooding issues with the house. We had one decent size limb fall but nothing that we can't handle, and we also never lost power. I know there are a ton of people who have lost everything, and my thoughts and prayers are with those people.
I spent four days straight in bed starting on Saturday with the storm started to come in and cause massive pressure changes. It was most severe on Sunday night into Monday night. I can handle my normal symptoms of dizziness, but throw a severe pressure headache on top of that and I couldn't get up without feeling like I was a ball in a pinball machine. It took a ton of energy just to get to the bathroom. By Tuesday night I started to feel more human and by the time I woke up yesterday morning I felt back to my "normal" state.
I was able to work on stuff around the house and get things picked up. I pushed through to go trick-or-treating with my kiddos. By the time we got home last night, I was flat out exhausted. I fell asleep pretty quickly, yet I woke up at 2 this morning and didn't fall back asleep until 5 this morning. I still woke at my normal time to help the kids get ready, and I am still good on energy...go figure?
While being stuck in bed for those four days, I had thought about how things have changed so much in just a few months since I came down with this crap (because that's just what it is). I told my buddy that I would never forget his wedding anniversary that was for sure! But also I'm now a stay at home mom, something that I never thought would happen, at least not this soon.
I struggle every day to make each day a better day than yesterday. I have great friends who I can't just up and go see because I'm terrified to travel. I need to go see my grandparents in South Carolina...I miss them, a lot, but I'm not sure how I would handle an 8 hour drive. I'm heading to Richmond to try that out this weekend. I want to see how I do, but I'm nervous about it all. My big sister in my sorority is getting married in March and I wish I could get to her more to help with planning, but its no easy task to just jump in a car and go (especially since I can't drive).
Josh has now become our sole income and he literally works 15-16 hour days. He leaves the house at 7:30 every morning and I usually don't see him until around 10 at night. We made a rule when Seth was born that bed time for him would be 8 so that we could have a couple hours to ourselves as a couple each night. Those couple of hours (8-11) are basically non-existent some nights because I'm exhausted and my symptoms are their worst at night.
I miss my independence. I miss being able to jump in a car and just go where I need to go. I miss my co-workers and working to help bring in an income. I miss being able to work around the house and not get tired so easily. I want to go outside and run with my kids. Through all this though, I keep moving forward. I have been able to stay off my meds on days where I'm at a 4 or lower. I only take my meds if my symptoms get above a 5 and I will only take my valium if I'm at a 9 or if my anxiety gets up too high. I'm proud of myself that I can stand and do the dishes, or sit and fold laundry. I've also been able to start picking up my Nook and read as well. (I can't read normal books yet, but with my Nook I adjusted the settings so its easier to read is short spurts.) I'm progressing and I know that, I just want to get better at some of the harder tasks like driving and running. I'll get there soon. I will Carry On....
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