Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"Troubles Gonna Go"~Skye Zentz

First let me apologize ahead of time for any mispellings.  I will make sure to spell check at the end, but computers suck and I'm awake at 2am.  I figured I would be productive in my bout of insomnia and catch up my blog. 
Second, this song is awesome.  You can check out the artist on facebook HERE or YouTube HERE.  She is a local artist from Norfolk, and a fellow Maury graduate.  I fell in love with this song because basically I feel like its my motto lately.  
Its been a crazy couple of days to put it lightly, so lets play catch up shall we?  Virginia weather sucks.  We literally in one week (and I'm not kidding about this) went from snowing one Friday to the following Wednesday being 77 (yes I said 77!) degrees with a massive windstorm that felt like we were suffering a hurricane and then by that Friday (note one week from the first one) we had snow again.  Now normally I would be fine with crazy weather.  Its one of the reasons why I love Virginia.  We get 4 seasons instead of 2, and every once in a while we get thrown a curve ball with a little warm weather here or cold weather there.  Its all fine and dandy, unless you have MdDS!  Let me just tell you, pressure change SUCKS and it can go somewhere, just not here.  With pressure changes I get migraines, with migraines I become your stereotypical red head.  I get mean, emotional, and then I start cussing like a sailor (worse than usual).  I become someone I'm not.  I literally start to hate my life, my house, my everything.  The best place for me is in bed, but as a mom you can't just go to bed, and you can't hate your kids or your house or anything, so you suck it up and move on.  Simple right?!  NOPE.  Nothing has been simple lately.  On the first day of it snowing (the coldest day so far in our winter) our furnace stopped working AND our water heater.  Both are working now, and I started to feel like I was getting on track, until the weather flipped and we had the stupid storm in the middle of winter.  By Friday I'm dead tired and don't feel like doing anything.  Saturday we decide to have a productive day and run errands, so that Sunday can be nothing but lazy day and Superbowl.  Sunday rolls around, I'm feeling slightly on a boat, little dizzy, nothing I can't handle and then...
My 7 year old jumps out of our front yard tree (approx. 5 feet in the air) and breaks his arm.  Now first looking at it, I think he dislocated it, but after hours in the ER, its broken, big time.  Can they do surgery and send us home same day...NOPE.  We get to spend the night in the hospital and have no idea what time my poor kid will have surgery.  He was put on a wait list and they were going to fit him where they could.  Now I don't blame my kid by any means.  He's a boy, and he's becoming more adventerous and accidents happen all, but SERIOUSLY!  Can I get a friggin break!  The anxiety of having to stay in the hospital, in a room that we are sharing with another kid, and then my poor son having to have surgery.  Yea, lets just say that I was on all of my meds for the last 24 hours.  My son is a trooper though, so brave.  He never once cried.  He did what the docs and nurses and techs needed to with very few complaints.  His surgery went well and he's home, we're all home....
Yet here I am stuck awake.  I can't sleep.  I don't feel tired at all.  I think the shock and adrenaline has hit me over what has happened the last few weeks and I'm just done.  I'm beyond frustrated, beyond tired of crap just not going right.   I feel like every turn I'm making is a wrong one.  They can't change my meds around because the only ones they can switch me to are ones that will literally make me crazy, and at this point I'm crazy enough as it is.  I want a friggin break!  I want just one week of nothing going wrong.  
My mom has always taught me to look at the positive.  Find the postive, the happy points and move forward from there, but (and no offense to you momma) I see no friggin happy in all of this!  I try to have my sense of humor and laugh about it. I put on a strong front more than people truly understand or know for that matter.  I smile everyday no matter how I feel, but if you look, its a very rare occasion that the smile is genuine at this point.  Brave faces suck!  
Like my husband said just the other night, we are so blessed to have what money can't buy.  I am blessed.  I know this, but come on!  And yes my family is close by.  I'm lucky to have them close by, however my friends are not.  My closest and dearest friends and not really close physically at all, and with me not driving, well, there goes a day trip to go see them.  I miss them.  I miss them being just a dorm or apartment building away.  Its hard to drop everything go visit someone.  Yes, I know, I could call them right?  WRONG AGAIN.  Why?  Because with the confusion that MdDS brings I have a terrible time talking to people on the phone.  Frankly, I hate talking on the phone.  I'm more of a face-to-face type person.  Besides, I don't want to talk about whats wrong, if that makes any sense.  I just want to go and hang out.  Have dinner, or lunch.  Window shop for all I care! 
But alas, I'm here.  And just like the song says, "And as for our stresses, we just remind ourselves they'll be over"
Thanks for reading my 2am rant!  Until next time....  

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